If…

If my mind could forge a thought to be thunk

My mouth would have trouble releasing such dribble

Life is not linear yet winding in most ways

Flipping my insides until they’re strewn outside

My mouth would have trouble releasing such dribble

For my heart endures parity wrecked bass and treble

Flipping my insides until they’re strewn outside

Refusing the malady and melancholy of others I contrive to unwind

For my heart endures parity wrecked bass and treble

Bending my ear to my lowest space listening for melody’s pace

Refusing the malady and melancholy of others I contrive to unwind

For at my center is my soul made whole

Bending my ear to my lowest space listening for melody’s pace

Life is not linear yet unwinding in most ways

For at my center is my soul made whole

If my mind could forge a thought to be thunk

(C) CM 2019

Who

Who could explain 

The tears in one’s eyes

No brain could conceive

The terror that racks the soul

Striking at the core of the stories untold

Repudiating emotional weakness’ lies

Fortify that passion aroused on the inside

Air it in the gait of your stroll

Who could explain

Looking for the prize of the highs

There’s no denying historic rise

Hearkening ears unable to discern sounds

Refusing to shuffle or labor bemoaned

Emerging against the cynicism around

Who could explain

 

© Cecilia Myles 2019

Arise

Arising from the clay

I’m here to have a say

What will I relay

I’m going to pray

 

For the sound was sent

As my image was cast

Like a water fount

I will shoot up

 

Doing what I’ve never done

Or only done obscure

Unaccompanied ee

Knowing that I’ve shone

 

For the clay

Was my mainstay

Before His hands

Shaped me

 

I can never go back

To who I was before He

Wanting to see the sky

Above it, I’ll elevate

 

The sky releases the sound

 

Rise

Unafraid

Rise

Speaking Aloud

Rise

 

From within

The power of the word

Causes this clay to rattle

As my feet begin to scramble

The ground beneath me

Seems to push against me

 

Arise Girl

Heaven’s waiting

Arise Lady

Your time is swaying

Arise Woman

You’re oblation

Arise Daughter

You’re My Vision

Arise…

© Cecilia Myles 2019

Reaper’s Bend

I’m dead to living a lie

Being on standby

Watching my dreams drive by

So you can fly

 

I’m dead to being less of me

Giving my best to thee

Because I chose not to be

What I know to be

 

I’m dead to skirting my words

Easing your burden

Forgetting I’m flirtin’

With Kamikaze’s sword

 

Your words won’t frame

For they don’t contain

My real me

Seeping out from my enemy

 

I refuse that part

Of this destructive story

That seeks to make me a victim

And a martyr

 

Dead is lifeless

Dead is hopeless

No use in speaking with a dummy

I just don’t have the tummy

 

No light in sight

No song to be sung

Here we end

At the Reaper’s bend

 

I’m looking at you

You’re looking at me

Without words spoken

With nothing exchanged

 

Adieu

Without anything due

The only echo heard is the scripture read

‘Let the dead bury the dead’

© Cecilia Myles 2019

Into Your Eyes

Removed

Discouraged

Your eyes tell me more than your words can say

 

Downcast

Withdrawn

My heart feels the pain of yours

Swollen

Darting

My eyes are awakening in the dark

 

Fierce

Resolved

My mind shifts to where you are

 

Looking into your eyes

I saw the pain

Seeing the depth of the well

I knew far too well

 

Setting my will to think

You will not sink

For you I will not lose

You are not alone

 

I have looked

Into your eyes

And saw your truth

(c) Cecilia Myles

Just Forget About It

We are people prone to need others and an unfortunate side effect of this wonderful dynamic given to us by God is that we want approval, permission, confirming evidence  saying “ok”, “you’re right”! Yet to wait for that from others may mean that you don’t move when you should or you don’t speak when its your time. Missing the queue when its your turn can be alarming and further, isolating. Because not only are we wanting affirmation yet we now long for realization.

Looking for what is within from without and longing for what should be rather than accepting what is can be maddening, even numbing depending on how long you’ve been in such place. Yet there is hope! Here’s the answer, Jesus…How? He resets (Luke 5:12-13), he restores (Matthew 12:13), he performs vision adjustments (John 9:1-7) and much more!

Console thyself with this truth, you’re not stuck. You’ve got to forget about what was by rehearsing what’s possible. Take in new thoughts on your concern through prayer, information gathering, studying the word of God. Enjoy new experiences with expectation of good outcomes. Learn something new and develop discipline and habits to support new growth and outlook. Let the old fall away and embrace the newness of life that Christ provided through faith. Faith not just in who He is, conjoin that faith to what He’s said about you through the word of God improving your perspective on self. All things are possible to him that believe, choose to believe (Mark 9:23).

So get up, shake the dust out of your hair, get the cobwebs out of your ears and forget about what was and get ready for what will be! #forgetaboutit #startagain #returntohope

When Giving Your All is Not Needed

So I do not enjoy drudgery.  If I could avoid it I would yet it keeps popping up!I am a “jump in with both feet” kind of person. I am ‘Go hard or go home’ and this reflects in a personality of extremes and bursts of energy. And so when it’s time to manage drudgery, I use the burst of energy in the hopes of suppressing the parts I do not quite enjoy. And this forceful-and-hands-on-deck-with-both-feet-in-and-much-too-much-to-say-while-doing-it-approach is disastrous! It causes great imbalance during execution and deep exasperation. Where I would rather discard the experience and complain, growth and progress actually occurs when I stop trying to move beyond it and stop complaining. 

Like sludge on a shoe, drudgery is not meant to be wiped away swiftly. It is a purifying and clarifying experience. It’s not about enjoyment, it is a matter of production. When I stop struggling with its existence, my actions to stop it begins to affect my experience in that the pressure of it lightens. When the pressure lessens, I become attracted to more positive experiences around me and shift from complaining. For all of the frustration I could spend on the experience, through the shift, I uncover provocation and motivation.

Drudgery being dull and menial work is counter-stimulating when handled improperly. It can seem to actually reduce the probability of what is hoped for. When handled wisely, it can become the immediate catalyst for what I’ve been hoping and praying for. For the one who works with hope in mind and faith engaged, the drudgery does not hinder; it becomes a sign of what is hoped for. 

Drudgery is so routine that it doesn’t take constant thinking and worrying to complete, it just requires constancy. So it doesn’t require all of your energy, just your diligence. You may not enjoy reading the bible daily, but the constancy of reading it still holds a return with the least amount of effort. Because there is a secret in the diligence, each action to read is creating momentum. With belief that it is the word of God (2 Timothy 3:16) and it is spirit and life (John 6:63), reading every day plants spirit and life that grows into something more. A moment a day can one day make the difference in a year that intense effort could’ve burnt out.

Like food being cooked in a slow cooker creates tender, succulent meat, let the drudgery that occurs occasionally to benefit and not harm you. The habit of daily dental hygiene doesn’t require a lot to accomplish yet if done twice a day properly, the dentist will usually provide a good report every six months. I can’t ever say that I thought brushing my teeth was a joyful highlight of my day yet neither was it a painful experience, it is necessary and thus useful.

Get out of your own way and accept the way you must take, all is not needed for every task of your life yet constancy is always a necessary component of the recipe. #constancyiskey #allisnotneeded

Ceci

 

 

Muddy Paths

I have traveled many roads being a military spouse and before that, figuratively, I traveled more roads than that. Traversing all kinds of terrains, some mountainous, others flat, I am confident in my driving skills. No accidents or incidents, I have fared quite well – in actual road travel. Not in the figurative sense! To some fault of my own and even at the consequence of others’ actions, I have had quite an adventure. Yet one thing is true in either regard, literally or figuratively…muddy paths can be the most cumbersome.

Mud is wet dirt that is sticky and covers clothes thickly. Its like sludge and doesn’t just wash off, dependent on surface or time stained. Where you know an item can be cleaned because its mud you consider trashing it alternatively. Do I like this item that much to go through the trouble? Can I find a suitable replacement at the store? How much will it take to clean up the surrounding area after cleaning this garment? Regardless of what you decision you make, something must be done.

Life has muddy paths and various terrain, I enjoy good drives in good company. I refuse going on a drive with the wrong company in the wrong vehicle. Those experiences are the worse because you can’t decipher how to ease the uncomfortability or improve the experience! So what I endeavor to due to customize a travel arrangement that ensures that at least I can be happy with the interior experience of my travels even when I can’t control the weather. I believe that this is the most important method to traversing muddy paths.

Despite the weather you may incur when you have somewhere to be, you persevere to get there and that is how we must face traveling along such paths. Muddy either through external factors that you have no control over or through consequences to decisions made, sometimes…mud is unavoidable. I think mud should stand for Middle Undertaking Destiny.

I know my destination is not shrouded in mud, there is no delight in staying in mud in the heat of the light of day that shines on our high moments. So the presentation of mud is evidence that I am somewhere in the middle of a process. Getting through this mud means that I have an arrangement of tasks or decisions that propel into thoughts and actions to move beyond this muddy experience. This awareness of the middle place and the undertaking means that I moving toward an unseen or unrealized opportunity.  Destiny is misconstrued to be the ultimate end of something. If that were true, once we reached our destiny there would be no further need for life. So destiny is truly the becoming of one’s self to their authentic truth which ends up unfolding greater possibilities.

When confronting muddy paths or foreseeing muddy weather ahead, consider the garment covered in mud. What’s the value for the garment? What’s the work that will be involved, count the cost? Middle Undertaking Destiny may cover you and even cake but the impact can be enjoyable with the right company and doable as such. And its negative impact, if any, can be washed away…

Remember, everything is not disposable and neither are you. #MUD, #mudisgood

Enjoying the journey, Ceci #roadwarrior

 

Walking on Water

It has been months since I was on my blog to share my thoughts. Not because I haven’t been thinking but because I was distracted. Distracted by what? Schooling, serving in a local church, family, and maintaining inner peace while doing all of those things. Did I know that I would become so overwhelmed, not at all! I thought I could handle it and to some degree, I did…GPA is 3.875, ministry growth occurred during my tenure, family has fared quite well despite the start of the 2018, and I did not catch a case! Heaven rejoices, lol.

No longer a dream, blurry picture, or contrived desire for relevancy, I am working the call, the plan, and God’s image for me. I know it is true and vibrant for me to be in this space and moment. This moment is me being me and not fulfilling a role! It is electrifying and powerful, it is awakening and grounding in nature. It puts me to sleep and awakens me. I can actually hear the vision calling me, not just ruminating in my thought but coming out of my mouth. I am talking about it, studying it, researching it, praying it, writing about it, and loving it.

Having children doesn’t feel like this, getting married doesn’t feel like this, and earning degrees does not feel like this! None of those moments were empty or less impactful, they were just different. I’m releasing my uniqueness and beauty in the earth that was assigned to me. People will be positively impacted by it and their lives will be made better because I did not give up on showing up.

I couldn’t have known that it would feel like this yet I am grateful to God that He has carried me through despite my ignorance. He fashioned me for it and never let me go. I’ve had to learn how to think different, behave accordingly, and love freely that I may become me. I had to learn because where I started I was not truly me. I never knew me or embraced me…yet in learning of Christ, I have learned of me. The real me came to life and now is ready to make moves, lol. At the loss of my father, I had no idea on what I would become without being able to defer to him. Taking God’s offer to father me, now I see that I didn’t need to know what, I just needed to let go of the reins to be who I am.

So like Peter, I’m seeking to walk on water and defy the rage of the storms (Matthew 14:22-33 KJV).

Ceci, just being me!

Making the Most of Gaps

Its been almost four months since I have written a post. Not because I had nothing to say yet because I didn’t want to add unnecessarily to conversation(s). Everything thought doesn’t need to be shared. So here I am relating on the value of gaps and why they occur.

My four month gap has been filled with much activity and great process but it wasn’t expected nor do I think I was prepared for such a moment. It arrived suddenly and it is slowly concluding. My eyes were opened before its onset. I saw something coming my way and as it got closer, I had some clarity but not total clarity. And before I could backpedal or ask questions of God, it was looking me closely in the face where I could feel its very breath on me. No distraction could pull me out of its grips and no prayer would relieve its’ pressure, it was my turn and I had to endure it.

Intriguingly, I could’ve used the break! Some of the previous things were no longer healthy for me and my actions/words were becoming fewer. I needed refreshing yet I figured that keeping up my water intake would suffice. Yet I didn’t know what kind of stuff was brewing in my underbelly that was causing the upset on my top layer. I just “figured” my own way and I discovered my own way was wrong as usual, God is my best way EVERYTIME.  You know, this response was due to a temporary loss of memory of who He is, it happens to everyone.😊

So I take my seat on this train and will see what the next stop will reveal. I like others disregard gaps. Becoming depressed or lonely, we gather that its imbalance somewhere or its inherent to our faults. These ideas may be false, they were for me. The truth is, I needed time to explore. Not wander which implies travel with no aim but explore meaning to uncover what is not known. Traveling is not always leisurely nor burdensome. When traveling with the intention to explore it can provide some insight or discovery, even if you’ve traveled the route before.

Enduring gaps are no different, I uncovered internal elements unseen that required analysis through prayer and study. I welcomed some discoveries and chagrined at others. Despite what was uncovered, I felt the loving hand of God moving me forward. For external matters, I found my perspective was skewered for various reasons. This process was necessary for my growth and improvement and this was proven to me by the presence of God’s love in the process.

It’s the beginning of the year and everyone wants to forget all of last year. Yet I realize that there were lessons in the last year that are part of my gap that I need to retain so my future will continue getting brighter. So to make the most of my gaps, I’m choosing to keep the lessons and insights improving my approach and methods allowing God to take any associated pain away.  Giving focus, prayer, biblical study, analysis, with application of wise actions as well as refreshing breaks. (Note that wise actions include actively rejecting self-pity, rehearsal of great losses/missteps, taking on of ungodly burdens, and conforming to worldly expectations.) Wrapping myself in a worshipful atmosphere ensures that this gap is impactful and fruitful. That makes not only the gap but also my journey valuable and replenishing, naturally and eternally. So when the gap closes, I’m confident that I’m better for it.

Truth is my focus, truth inwardly and expressed outwardly. Not my truth but God’s truth about me and for me, that’s what I desire to live out. So what is my gap adding to my life? Greater truth that ebbs and flows into every part of my being, this is the fulfillment of God in me (John 14:23, 16:13); that I may known Him and be made known of me (Philippians 3:9-12).

Make the most of your gaps! Ceci

#gothroughit #makethemostofit #youreworthit