It has been months since I was on my blog to share my thoughts. Not because I haven’t been thinking but because I was distracted. Distracted by what? Schooling, serving in a local church, family, and maintaining inner peace while doing all of those things. Did I know that I would become so overwhelmed, not at all! I thought I could handle it and to some degree, I did…GPA is 3.875, ministry growth occurred during my tenure, family has fared quite well despite the start of the 2018, and I did not catch a case! Heaven rejoices, lol.
No longer a dream, blurry picture, or contrived desire for relevancy, I am working the call, the plan, and God’s image for me. I know it is true and vibrant for me to be in this space and moment. This moment is me being me and not fulfilling a role! It is electrifying and powerful, it is awakening and grounding in nature. It puts me to sleep and awakens me. I can actually hear the vision calling me, not just ruminating in my thought but coming out of my mouth. I am talking about it, studying it, researching it, praying it, writing about it, and loving it.
Having children doesn’t feel like this, getting married doesn’t feel like this, and earning degrees does not feel like this! None of those moments were empty or less impactful, they were just different. I’m releasing my uniqueness and beauty in the earth that was assigned to me. People will be positively impacted by it and their lives will be made better because I did not give up on showing up.
I couldn’t have known that it would feel like this yet I am grateful to God that He has carried me through despite my ignorance. He fashioned me for it and never let me go. I’ve had to learn how to think different, behave accordingly, and love freely that I may become me. I had to learn because where I started I was not truly me. I never knew me or embraced me…yet in learning of Christ, I have learned of me. The real me came to life and now is ready to make moves, lol. At the loss of my father, I had no idea on what I would become without being able to defer to him. Taking God’s offer to father me, now I see that I didn’t need to know what, I just needed to let go of the reins to be who I am.
So like Peter, I’m seeking to walk on water and defy the rage of the storms (Matthew 14:22-33 KJV).
Ceci, just being me!