Arise

Arising from the clay

I’m here to have a say

What will I relay

I’m going to pray

 

For the sound was sent

As my image was cast

Like a water fount

I will shoot up

 

Doing what I’ve never done

Or only done obscure

Unaccompanied ee

Knowing that I’ve shone

 

For the clay

Was my mainstay

Before His hands

Shaped me

 

I can never go back

To who I was before He

Wanting to see the sky

Above it, I’ll elevate

 

The sky releases the sound

 

Rise

Unafraid

Rise

Speaking Aloud

Rise

 

From within

The power of the word

Causes this clay to rattle

As my feet begin to scramble

The ground beneath me

Seems to push against me

 

Arise Girl

Heaven’s waiting

Arise Lady

Your time is swaying

Arise Woman

You’re oblation

Arise Daughter

You’re My Vision

Arise…

© Cecilia Myles 2019

Reaper’s Bend

I’m dead to living a lie

Being on standby

Watching my dreams drive by

So you can fly

 

I’m dead to being less of me

Giving my best to thee

Because I chose not to be

What I know to be

 

I’m dead to skirting my words

Easing your burden

Forgetting I’m flirtin’

With Kamikaze’s sword

 

Your words won’t frame

For they don’t contain

My real me

Seeping out from my enemy

 

I refuse that part

Of this destructive story

That seeks to make me a victim

And a martyr

 

Dead is lifeless

Dead is hopeless

No use in speaking with a dummy

I just don’t have the tummy

 

No light in sight

No song to be sung

Here we end

At the Reaper’s bend

 

I’m looking at you

You’re looking at me

Without words spoken

With nothing exchanged

 

Adieu

Without anything due

The only echo heard is the scripture read

‘Let the dead bury the dead’

© Cecilia Myles 2019

Resentment + Me = Foolishness

I’m a person who has worked really hard to overcome a rough childhood and ignorant young adulthood. I’ve matured to accept consequences for my actions along with the responsibility of creating a healthy structure for making good decisions. I say all of that to get to this point…I HATE THE PRESENCE OF RESENTMENT IN ME!!!

See the underlying culprit of resentment is unforgiveness. I am in resentment because I enjoyed/ignored unforgiveness for too long. Forgiveness frees me from being angry as well as justified in my anger. Unforgiveness lets me be self-righteous for being treated wrong. The pedestal offered by unforgiveness can feel so good but it does so much damage!

Is unforgiveness worth the cost? The person who did me wrong doesn’t care that they did me wrong or probably didn’t notice. They took, stole, and left me empty of what I chose to give freely. I didn’t think I was making an investment with no return. I didn’t want accolades or gifts, I wanted them to use my investment wisely and grow from it. But instead they treated it as dung (fecal matter). Truthfully, they didn’t owe me to be successful. Yet my desire to see them better drove my choice to invest.

Was it a lack of wisdom or a wealth of love that drove my decision? This time, it was a wealth of love. Unfortunately, for the person, I have now seen the depravity of their thinking/condition and I must exercise caution. Though I know I must forgive, within I still want to correct them.

Yet here is where I choose to digress, suffer the discomfort because the will of a person is subject to that person just like consequences. Nothing I could do would correct what has already occurred. So my necessary and wise recourse is to address what I’ve done. Once I forgive, the resentment (weed) has no root to live in and the lesson will bloom. An understood and applied lesson does the heart, mind, and body good and much better than resentment, this will bring comfort. For this is the formula, I prefer: Forgiveness + Me = Wisdom. And wisdom brings health to me!

“Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!” Proverbs 90:12 Message

Embracing Forgiveness, Ceci

Winds of Grief

Like the winds that suddenly blow in from the mountains
So does grief unannounced
No forecasting or shadows
Just the impact of its force

With tears cascading down my face
Like timberwillows in the desert breeze
Caused by the unseen power of the winds
Does my face release its willows

Water willows of unforeseen depths
Bountiful
Full
And overflowing

Rolling in by its own cadence
In similitude to the timberwillows
One after the other
Two at a time
Maybe three
On and on

Flying on the winds of grief
Pacing by the howl of the wind
So does my heart howl
Longing for days before
That I’ll see no more

As empty as it came
Is as empty as this place once filled
With life of yesteryear
Where the winds brings harsh realities
It also brings sweet memories

So I’ll welcome the winds
And endure the force of the breeze
As I wallow in the touch of its appearance
For it reminds me that what I have loved
And who has loved me

In His Grace, Ceci

Overuse leads to misuse

I like emollient creams and lotions that moisturize your skin, making it soft and supple. As one ages, you realize the value of moisture because the body looses the youthful levels of moisture and needs more. You may have combination skin and though you moisturize, you find that certain parts can still become dry. Then adjustment is needed to get back on track. So understanding your skin’s needs will help you to find balance. The resulting balance creates elasticity, strength, and shine.

My skin needs moisture and I do what I understand. For awhile my skin is great, enduring various seasons and as time rolls on, I find that my skin is starting to become irritant. I’ve understood that my skin needed moisture so why am I developing a rash? Some people will see a doctor and then you have my favorite people who just keep lathering with the original understanding.

Why if something is not working as it originally did, would you keep with the original understanding? Let’s now replace the skin issue to a life issue. “I’ve accepted Jesus as my Savior, yet how my choice was originally working to breathe life in me, something has changed. I’ve lost my joy and I’m fatigued though I go to church! The moisture of Jesus doesn’t seem to be refreshing anymore.” Could it be that you’ve not grown in understanding?

It seems to happen suddenly but it didn’t happen suddenly. There was a process of time in which the choice made was in the wrong direction. See Jesus came to save but He also is Lord. Lord means that He renders direction and action that we must take to enjoy the benefits of His lordship. The last choice made should not be when you said yes to salvation. The last choice should be the one made for today, where you said yes to His Lordship. “Yes, I’ll stay sensitive to Holy Spirit’s guidance. Yes, I trust you Lord to work out my issues within me. Yes Lord, I’ll study the word and not just read it. Yes Lord, I’ll be careful with my words.”

Overusing Jesus to do the heavy lifting does not wear Him out, He just doesn’t do it! We become deluded in our thinking and we begin to sway from the way of the Lord. He finished His part on the cross in the earth realm. What He now does, His now part is interceding for us on the right hand of the Father (Romans 8:34). So the work that needs to be done is on us. Why? Because everything that we need has been supplied through Christ (2 Peter 1:3). Our part involves aligning ourselves with the will of God so that what is supplied is manifested in our earth realm (Matthew 6:33). So our work is alignment through acts of faith resulting in results seen and witnessed.

How we do our part? Jesus empowered us to do our part by putting the word of God in our mouths (through study of the Bible and times of prayer and meditation) which we then declare His truths which then begins to take form in the earth. All of this motivated through love for God and faith in Jesus. He left Holy Spirit with us to empower us, to lead and guide us so we recognize we are not depending on our fraility. Jesus said if you speak to a mountain to go into the sea, it’ll go (Matthew 21:21-22). For the glory of God, Jesus even tells us to ask it in His name (John 14:13) because our requests should be directed to giving God glory. Our lives and actions are greater than our individual parts, they contribute to the larger picture designed by God!

Now that your understanding has been enlighted, it is necessary that we remember to keep our understanding fresh. When our understanding is fresh, our balance is steadied. We then know when to speak and when to listen (James 1:19). This balance is challenged through circumstance yet we are strengthened in the process. 1 Peter 5:8-11 illustrates that our lives through Christ are directed to the glory of God meaning that it requires challenge. The threat of stalling in your living is become misuseful of Christ’s work in us. It is important that we not overuse the work of Jesus because He paid it all. Any thing paid for in advance still requires a person to go and pick up what was paid for. Do not get stuck in stagnancy and complacency, let’s do our part.

Understanding breeds balance and balance breeds strength, stability, and resolve. Know your lane, a marathan runner trains differently from a sprint runner yet they all use the track to get the work done. Selah

Ceci
(Scripture references are in the Amplified version.)

Having the Will to Continue

Despite what you might think of some of your role models or heroes, we all have struggled with the will to continue. Sometimes it comes from the external world around us and other times, it is from our own internal environment. No matter the person or the circumstance, highs or lows, managing the will can sometimes be tricky. Some run on auto-pilot in an attempt to ensure everything is maintained while others analyze every moment and never seem to make a step in any direction. The biggest concern/fear is is this the right thing for me – is this going to work out like I want – am I even in the right place for this to occur?

So many questions and so many concerns leave us without a compass or surety that we are fine. Others may say we’re fine, circumstances may speak to truth that we’re fine but we aren’t able to grasp that fact that we are truly okay. So we struggle with our will,  it seems that it has it own life and own way which doesn’t want to submit to ours. Paul struggled with the same issues in Romans 7, he struggled with his sinful nature (will fueled by ungodly desires) to get it to line up with what he truly wanted (derived from his spirit man). Like Paul, our struggle with will is about what we believe and what we desire. What Paul believed was in the Lordship of Jesus Christ but what he desired contradicted this truth that created a struggle.

Struggles comes in varying degrees but the core truth is that its seat is conflict. Struggles rest in the reality that two elements of me are in struggle and my beliefs and actions must align properly with the truth I embrace. Fear is not a God by-product so that element of me that is fearful must be rendered to the Lord through confession and refuted by subsequent action to render it ineffective. If I do that, my fear loses and my will is in submission to the Lord and my actions will continually align with God’s truth that I have adopted as my own. Now, if I do not recognize the fear, it will gain ahold to my beliefs and begin to perverse them creating falsehoods. These falsehoods will impose upon my will that I will begin to act unseemly. My actions will take me in a direction away from God and his truth into a place of struggle. And here the conflict becomes a blaze.

Jesus saying, “… I want your will to be done, not mine.” Luke 22:42 NLT was not only words spoken but it required corresponding action. Jesus regularly practiced the work required for enduring the cross before he got to the cross. Since Jesus is our example, then we should develop the daily practice of will alignment. This will develop in us  flexibility and longevity that helps us on reaching our eternal heights in Christ. Paul’s answer to his struggle was this, “Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord…” Romans 7:25a NLT. Our Lord has conquered this struggle and provided the means for us to daily experience victory.

Let’s do the easier portion of the work since Christ did the heavy lifting on the cross. and walk in our victory!

One step at a time…

Often times, we are rushed by life – obligations, expectations, and anything else we can imagine. In such time, we make quick decisions and execute actions almost by rote memory. And once the dust has settled, we realize that what we have is not really what we wanted but we had to do something. We figure that something is better than nothing until we realize that what we exactly have is nothing!

This nothing is not that we can’t see something but it is not the fullness of our desire. There are times that this must suffice and you realize the blessedness of having something, being grateful. And there are other times, that our works just weren’t coupled with faith resulting in nothingness. Only through relationship and practice can we manifest greater works unto righteousness and our own satisfaction. But note there is not a quick fix or action to seeing ourselves in another space. There is only a path…

The path that God sets for you is a race where you are your own competitor. God is the cheerleader, the coach, and the path-maker. The smartest action/step to be taken is found in Proverbs 9:10 (KJV), ‘The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.” One step at a time in the right direction moves us along the path of making. The choice to live in the awareness that God is great and worthy of praise and honor; honoring his being and deity is where wisdom is found. Reading the word of God and engaging in conversations with those who believe and live for Jesus helps us to do this. God shares with those who value Him. Then comes knowledge of Him that brings us into understanding, not only of Him but of ourselves.

Regular honor with continual understanding helps to build our lives and realize destiny. Be encouraged to take one step at a time. Refusing the pressure and obligation, derive your peace from your most important relationship which is with the Lord. He guides, secures and ensures your success. We have already won the race because He has secured our victory. Let’s learn to live it out by taking one step at a time.

 

Tragedies & Triumphs

A series of moments, events and encounters creates this lovely web of life. The tragedies makes the triumphs more sweet than if the triumphs happened alone. The infrequency of both keeps us on our toes. Even the expectation for the shift into another encounter can either motivate you or thwart your drive. And despite what comes the experience of expectation is enough to cause our hearts to beat faster.

I am challenged to relish, derive the value of every part of my life’s series. Like a TV show with many episodes, I may replay or ponder its impact on me so will I do so in life. Whether it made me cry or shout, there’s value even in it that can make me better in some way. This value that I cherish can keep life from becoming debased and void. I must maintain what I know and act in faith that there is more to have and hold so I won’t stop moving or being. I smile thinking of how much I cried over the last 30 days or so and now I am enjoying my laughter and smile again. Who says that I can’t be both suffering and happy at the same time?! Apostle Paul said that he knew how to be in any circumstances he found himself in because he drew his strength and vigor from Christ himself. (Philippians 4:12-13) I think I’ll just follow his lead…

Adieu and God bless, Ceci

Loss of Loved One

How do you handle the death of a loved one? My dad died and after the anger, the hurt and the pain. I sit here wondering what is the next thing to do? There is no navigation software or how to guide for handling this yet I somehow feel adrift on some floating device. I know there are grief books and such but they are fluff when you are in the midst of turmoil.

Part of me seems numb and the other seems lethargic…slow to respond yet sure of what I don’t want to be bothered with or bothered with whom! People are genuine enough but after using the God-given supports I need, I don’t want any of it. Essentially, I don’t want anything. I want to be where I was before the loss, before the news. That pre-loss state that was free of this heavy heart pain and family conflicts.

I know that my experience may not be a common place for those suffering loss but this is mine. This after loss stuff SUCKS! I didn’t like the in-loss place (after finding out one passed and during funeral preparation) and I certainly am not liking this. The only difference is that my headaches have lessened yet my heartache is holding steady. This feels like surgery and I just endured my first surgery in October of the past year. Not even three months later, I am having another!

This surgery is of the worst kind! My father has been excised from my physical space and I can feel the emptiness of where he once resided. The only one who can bring me any healing and help me to recover, bring me into wholeness, is my heavenly father.  My only guide is God’s presence and my relationship with Him. So I depend on God to show me the depth of his love for me to grant to  me a deeper understanding of Him since my depth of need has increased.

I found out in my Dad’s death that there were parts of himself that he didn’t allow me to know. For whatever reason, he preferred that it be uncovered in his death. In coming to see him through others’ eyes, it has put all that I know into question requiring the strength of my faith to believe that which I experienced. And through this dynamic, I am discovering more about God and experiencing more in Him. So this unique kind of surgery is refreshing my view of God in the beauty of His majesty. My new reality with my Dad’s passing is embracing with greater veracity who God is to me and for me. It’s the lesson that keeps on giving and the truth that is sustaining me. As my Dad was a person of diligence so may I be even the more. #lossoflovedone #deepcallingtodeep

Purposeful Frustration

Have you ever done all you can do and it still not be enough?! You’re flexible, not too demanding, forgiving, considerate, direct, and supportive…yet you still can’t seem to get to the end you desire? I mean when you hit the wall in this frustration sometimes the most fitting release from the brewing anger is screaming! Some would say that this is not the proper “Christian” response…WHATEVER! If God can’t handle my need to shout, then he and everyone else is just going to be uncomfortable. Though I don’t believe that the issue would be his, it is ours.

We have a tendency to want everything nice and tidy and when it is not, it lends to frustration. I want my life nice and tidy, free of hiccups and disturbances that are beyond my control or perceived control. What I usually fail to realize is that control to God is not the same as what it is to me. Control to me is no disturbance seeing that chaos is an indicator that I lack control or direction. Control to God includes disturbances and chaos because he uses them as purposeful and directive. He knows everything and sees it all, so at any point he can intervene so whatever it is, is still within his reach.This differing point of view is supported by scripture, Isaiah 59:1 as well as the following…

“Isaiah 55:8-9 (KJV), For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher that your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

That word “higher” in the original text is defined as to soar, lofty, haughty; it is indicative of the intention of God’s purpose. His thoughts are meant to cause us to soar, to rise above, to express the height and greatness of him. In our finite minds, this means little but when lived out yet it takes us higher and beyond our thinking or perspective. My frustration attempts to trap me in my right now and the circumstances but the intention in which God allows it is not locked up in the right now. He is attempting to take me higher than the circumstance, if I allow. He is pushing me to rise above my perspective and accept his perspective.

Essentially, the frustration is purposeful and instructive. Instructing me in handling the affairs of this life. Will I trust God or won’t I? Do I believe and expect the promises of God to be manifested for me? Am I going to be more than a hearer of God’s word and become a doer? Is God really true? Can I really tell him everything and he still love me and receive me as his own? The circumstances create pressure and discomfort that works against believing. So what will I hold on to?

Being that frustration is purposeful, does he allow this out of love and his plan for my life? What is his motive and will I wait on him? Am I really the apple of his eye? (Psalm 17:8) It demands of us to either live by faith or walk by sight (Romans 1:17). Where no one likes to be frustrated, it seems that when those moments arrive we should let it have its perfect work (James 1:4) that we may be whole in every way. Job cried out to the Lord when he had enough and God answered, I believe that when we say what we really mean so God will answer us as well.

With a lightened heart, Ceci